


Rely on Family

by LadyAriadna



Series: Never Truly Gone [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Family, Friendship, Gen, Not Beta Read, Not Spider-Man: Far From Home Compliant, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 04:52:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18909940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyAriadna/pseuds/LadyAriadna
Summary: A talk at a building's rooftop could be a start for Peter Parker's healing.





	Rely on Family

Peter Parker swung as fast as he could towards the source of the bright light. Despite the feeling of bad omen in his heart, he pushed it away in favor of hope. Even if it was slim, he would hang on that small sliver of hope. He had to.

From a distance, he saw Mr. Rhodes kneel beside the battered Iron Man suit on the ground. With a jolt of realization, there was no movement from Mr. Stark. Peter swung as fast as he could towards him. His hands felt cold and his breathing was labored. No matter how hard he prayed, he couldn’t tamp down the full blown fear in his heart.

 _He’s okay… He’s Iron Man… He’s got to be okay. Please be okay… Please be okay… Please…_ He felt the prickling of tears in his eyes but he refused to let them fall. He wouldn’t let hope fizzle out. An endless litany of “he’s okay” kept his desperation at bay and yet...

When he got there, he saw a scene from one of his nightmares come to life. Mr. Stark’s right side was burnt. He was so pale that… _No!_

“Mr. Stark? Hey...” He knelt in front of his mentor and father-figure. “Mr. Stark, can you hear me? It’s Peter.” The small flame of hope in his heart started to fade. “We won. Mr. Stark… We won, Mr. Stark. We won and you did it, sir. You did it.” He could feel someone hold his shoulder to gently pull him away. “I’m sorry… Tony.” At that moment, he only felt regret; regret for not being fast enough, for not being strong enough. It was too late…

With hope gone from his heart, he cried and stood as Mr. Rhodes tried to comfort him. He could barely hear Ms. Potts because he could hear Tony’s heart slow down until...

\---

Peter woke with a start; he whimpered, out of breath and with elevated heart rate as if he ran a marathon. He took huge gulps of breath as he tried to dissipate the haze in his mind. Weeks of terrible nightmares made Peter realize how silly movies and books portray the sudden awakening from a nightmare. In reality, there were no screams or any sudden move to sit up from the bed. Instead, there were only whimpers, silent tears, a sudden drop to wakefulness and disorientation. 

He looked around and re-oriented himself to his surroundings. The gray walls were mostly blank and there were boxes still on the floor. A desk was on his right near his head and drawers on the foot of his bed. He was in his room in the new apartment he moved in along with his aunt. They had to move to another apartment when they returned from the snap. Pepper found out about it and offered to let them stay in one of her apartments in Midtown but May politely declined. _Pepper and Morgan…_ He wondered how they’re doing.

He shook his head as if to shake the remnants of his nightmare out of his mind and the emotions that came with it. He silently groaned as he angrily wiped away his tears. 

With Iron Man gone, he took it upon himself to widen his patrol area. Aside from Queens, he also encompassed Manhattan. He’s exhausted so a break was in order. Good thing there’s that school trip to Europe. Maybe he could get a breather there; a bit more time to be just a kid with kid problems with no weight of the world on his shoulders.

He took his phone from his desk to check the time. It was one in the morning and there were no new messages. He thought to go back to sleep but the idea of reliving that nightmare twice in one night was not appealing. _I guess I can go on patrol for an hour or two._

He stood from his bed and walked towards his closet to pull his suit out but as he reached towards it, he paused. It had gotten harder and harder to put on the suit. For the first few weeks since the battle, he suited up to distract himself. He wanted to forget and just go through the motions of swinging through the city and web up criminals here and there.

The city itself won’t let him forget though. Everywhere he goes, he sees his face… Even the people won’t let him forget. He was often asked if he’s going to be the next Iron Man. He sighed and suited up.

“Hi Peter,” Karen greeted, “it is too late for your patrol.”

“It’s okay Karen. Just want to swing around a bit.” He then jumped out of his window and swung towards Midtown.

After an hour of patrol, he took a break on a rooftop of one of the high-rise buildings in Long Island City. He took out his phone and saw it was two in the morning. His thumb hovered over his contacts app. After a few seconds of hesitation, he called his mentor’s phone number. His heart plummeted when his call went directly to voicemail.

“You’ve reached Tony Stark’s voicemail.” FRIDAY’s Irish lilt answered the call. “Please leave a message after the beep.”

“Umm, he-hey, Tony! I-I know what you’re going to say. Yeah, it’s too late but, I had a- I had a nightmare and I can’t sleep so, I just went on patrol. New York is safe. Took out a few robbers here and there. Everything’s umm, everything’s good.”

Peter paused. His throat felt tight as he desperately tried to not let a sob escape.

“I miss you, Tony.”

His hand shook as he ended the call. Peter lost track of how many voicemails he sent over the weeks since. He knew it was unhealthy, leaving voicemails that would never be heard by the recipient. Peter knew it was crazy and impossible but he couldn’t help but hope that, by some miracle, he gets to talk to Tony again. He even wanted his mentor to get mad and reprimand him for being irresponsible. He wanted something, anything but, there was only silence.

He removed his mask as he looked over the Manhattan skyline. He couldn’t help but let his gaze zero in on the former Avengers Tower. The tower was never sold. From what he heard, the fact that it has its own Arc Reactor and is off the city’s electric grid skyrocketed its real estate value. Good thing though, Pepper took the ownership back. It’s currently under renovation. Peter’s not sure if it would be the return of the Avengers Tower or it would become Stark Tower as it was originally.

He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of repulsors from the direction of the Tower. The sound felt like a stab in his heart. He imagined it was Iron Man, despite it being unlikely. A few minutes later, he saw the Rescue suit fly closer. He knew Pepper was just concerned and wanted to check up on him but, he would rather be chewed out by Tony and be lectured on not getting a full eight hours of sleep than hear her concerns.

“Peter, are you okay?” She asked as soon as she landed behind him and the nanites retreated back to their casings, the twin bracelets on her wrists. “It’s too late to go on patrol.” She wore a gray yoga pants and a white t-shirt with a cat print on it. Peter thought the shirt was vaguely familiar but then it finally hit him after a second or two. It was one of Tony’s shirts. The stabbing pain in his heart returned.

“Y-yeah. I’m-I’m okay. I just,” he sighed and looked forward towards the Tower, “you know…”

“I think I have an idea.” She walked closer then sat beside him. “I have nights like that too.” They sat together in silence for some time. Peter didn’t want to cut the silence short but he didn’t want to impose on Pepper.

“I’m sorry. You didn’t have to come here. You have Morgan to look after.”

“Don’t worry, she’s asleep. Rhodey's with her and FRIDAY will alert me if something happens. Peter,” she placed her hand on his shoulder, “keeping you company is not an obligation. You’re my kid too.” He looked up at her. She gave him a smile. “I care about you a lot.”

He nodded and hung his head. He admired and envied Pepper for her strength. She’s just like May. He couldn’t fathom how painful it was for her to let Tony go.

“You know you can always talk to me, right?” She removed her hand on his shoulder to run her fingers through his curly hair. “It’s not healthy to bottle things up.”

“Thanks but, I’m really okay.” He forced a smile though he knew she didn’t buy it. Pepper raised both her eyebrows.

“Want to try that again?”

“I-It’s just...” It took a few more seconds for him to continue. He felt his throat close up. “It’s a lot of things. I don’t want to be a burden to you or anything especially since...” He looked at her and silently pleaded for her to understand and just let it go.

“You’re not a burden. Don’t ever, ever think you’re a burden to me.” She reached out and gently cupped his face with her hand. “As far as I’m concerned, you and May are part of my family. We go through this together. Okay?”

Family… For years, Peter thought the only family he ever had was with Ben and May. Due to his own stupidity, Ben was taken away from them and for some time, he accepted that the only family he would ever have was May; that is, until Tony Stark barged into their lives.

He never knew willingly going with Tony to Germany would lead to more connections, a bigger family. And yet, the universe took another loved one, one that taught and supported him… His hero… He’s not here anymore...

“The world needs the next Iron Man and I-I don’t know if, if I could or even want to step up. I just want things to go back to the way it was before.” Peter confessed after few seconds of hesitation. He clenched his jaw as unbidden tears rolled down his cheeks. “He’s gone, Pepper! I’ll do anything to have him back!” He sobbed and Pepper embraced him, soft and warm. He clenched his fist as he felt her comb his hair. He couldn’t help but cry harder. “I miss him so much!”

“I know, sweetie. I miss him too.” He heard the anguish in Pepper’s response.

“And then, I would feel guilty for even thinking of taking a break from being Spider-man. I don’t want to let Tony down but I’m so worn out and-” It got hard for him to breath.

“Shhh… It’s okay, sweetie.” 

“No, it’s not!” Peter leaned back to look at Pepper. “Sometimes I get angry at him for using the gauntlet. Why did he have to be the one to do it? There must’ve been another way! You and Morgan, she-she lost a father…” Pepper, with tears on her eyes, gave him a sad smile.

“Pete, you know it was his choice.”

“Maybe I could’ve-”

“No!” Pepper fiercely interrupted. “Never you, Peter! Not in a million years!”

“It didn’t have to be him!”

“But that’s Tony.” Pepper sighed. “He could never rest knowing that he could save his family, that he could save you, and he didn’t do anything.”

Peter suddenly remembered the day he first had a talk with Tony. _When you can do the things that I can, but you don’t… and then the bad things happen… they happen because of you._

“Trust me, he wouldn’t be disappointed in you if you want to take a break from being Spider-man.” She wiped the tears off his cheeks with her hands. “All he wanted is for you to be happy. He wanted you to be the best version of yourself. The world doesn’t need the next Iron Man.” He looked at her in disbelief. “The world needs you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. Tony’s already so proud of you.” Her mouth curved into a small smile. “So, whether you decide to make the world a better place as Peter Parker or Spider-man, you would make him prouder.” He smiled back at her despite the tears still in his eyes.

“Thank you, Pepper.” The empty space that Tony left in his heart was still painful, but maybe when more time passed, there would be acceptance. In time, he would learn to live with it and look back to cherish the good times he spent with Tony Stark.

“You’re welcome, sweetie. Like I said, family sticks together.”

\---

When he got back home, he was not surprised to find May waiting for him. One look from her and he knew Pepper and May had a talk.

“I-I’m sorry, I just-” He was cut off by May’s tight hug.

“It’s okay, baby. It’s okay.” Her soothing voice along with the way she rubbed circles on his back never failed to make him feel safe. He hugged her just as tight if not tighter, not unlike when he was younger. “It’s okay. I got you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Originally, this is supposed to be a multi-chapter Far From Home AU that I planned to finish before Endgame but I got lazy. So I thought, with a little tweaking, this could be a post-Endgame, pre-FFH one shot.


End file.
